how dare you tell me you love me, tell me you can’t see yourself without me, yet not be even thinking about getting married.

i realize you have gone through a lot over the last 200 days, as have i — but are you fucking kidding me?!

then you don’t even have the respect to say goodbye? great. thanks. not like i haven’t put my entire fucking life on hold or anything.

aside from all the sadness that today has brought, i’m so angry. i just want to blow up all of afghanistan. obviously that’s not an option, nor do i have the capabilities to do so. but man, those bastards are ruining so many lives it’s ridiculous. i realize we’re killing them & they’re killing us, but they started it and i’m so ready for us to just end this shit & bring the troops home.

i’m so tired of hearing about another person losing their soulmate, children losing their parents. it’s horseshit & this isn’t the way it’s supposed to be.

i honestly don’t even know where to begin. i haven’t posted on here in forever, but i felt like this might be the easiest way to deal with everything going on right now. at 3:30 this morning i got a phone call from afghanistan. i was thrilled because i haven’t heard his voice in a while. well excitement turned to absolute devastation as i heard the man i love on the other end, quietly sobbing. after asking him what was going on about ten times, he was able to whisper that his friend and roommate had been killed and three more of his friends were so seriously injured that they had to be rushed to germany for medical attention. him and his squad were in an ied blast. words cannot even begin to cover everything that’s going through my mind. i’m absolutely shattered that this is happening. i’m so sad for the fallen hero’s wife. she is the nicest person i have ever known and her husband was so warm and friendly. we had a trip planned with them for march to go to las vegas. i feel numb. lost. helpless. sad. even these words don’t even properly express the severity of how awful today has been. i can’t imagine the pain my love is feeling right now and the fact that i’m 9,000 miles away with absolutely no way of helping him, completely breaks my heart. i want to hold him and tell him it’s going to be okay. i want to just be able to be there for him. but i can’t. it’s the worst feeling i have felt in all my life. i just want him home.